Getting Thru the Day

Feeling as if I am merely existing, when I really want to LIVE...Today started out as one of those days...a sleepless night looking after a sad baby, burning the porridge and throwing toast at the kiddos instead, not getting the washing on until 10am...pj's on til lunchtime...feeling like a failure yet again.

Picking myself up and making a choice...a choice to cuddle my daughter who just wanted some mama love...to sit on the couch and read Corduroy, the Magic School Bus and Where the Wild Things Are with a child on each knee and one draped around my neck...to feed the two year olds raisins while they sat on the bench watching the 5 year old and me making pikelets for lunch...and then eating said pikelets with icecream and maple syrup (and I didn't even remember it was Shrove Tuesday til a friend reminded me!)...saying yes to a dear friend who invited the five year old for a sleepover and picked him up and helped me hang the washing at 4pm...tickling bubba and snuggling him for a bit longer than I needed to...just cos I could...

This is LIVING...why can't I see it often enough? My first inclination is to measure my success by what I do...Is the house tidy enough? Are the kids faces and t'shirts clean? Have we achieved everything on mama's to-do list?

My dear friend reminded me again that I want to create rich memories in my children's hearts...they won't remember that the house was spotless but they will remember that mama was too busy to have a waterfight in the backyard. I am still trying to get my head around it...balance, being responsible and diligent and letting go and just being now and then.